Tuesday, December 15, 2020

What to do, it is too long until Christmas!

 

It is too long until Christmas!


The wait for Christmas will go faster if you get involved in preparing for it.

Invite guests for a meal, and a party, maybe have them stay overnight.

You have to clean, decorate, cook, buy presents, clean.

Help out in your local homeless shelter.

Organize a toy drive for your local children’s home.

Adopt a grandparent in a nursing home or at your church.

Declutter your garage or shed.

Spruce up the outside of your house.

Make gifts or bake a dessert.

Write a newsletter and include pictures to share with your family members.

Include the highs and lows of this year. Add a blessings list.

Babysit for a neighbor and give a mom some “me” time.

Organize your decorations and take the ones you no longer want to a charity group so someone may be blessed with ornaments you no longer need.

Help a child make presents to give to a loved one.

Organizing your home

 I’ve written a workbook ebook; it will soon be going for a final edit before a possible printing. My focus is on adapting the home for life changes and is not heavy on the organizing side.

However, each individual and each family unit will face different challenges.

Our society (at least American) has pushed the idea that “more is better.” However, I'm afraid I have to disagree. In part, this mindset leads to disorganization.

One needs a vision of what the home's finished version should be to meet one’s expectations.

Things within a home need a contained designated space. Limits or maximums need to be set for each type of item.

When organizing, you need to contain the necessary “accumulation” to achieve organization.

Collections can easily get out of hand—these are as varied as individuals.

Peter Walsh urged people always to consider where you would display or use something before you bought it. I consider that statement to be a game-changer.

Shoes, purses, hats, tee shirts, belts, vests, coats, sweaters, costumes, jewelry, makeup are all things that can quickly become overwhelmingly abundant.

Toys, books, sentimental objects of art and framed pictures can quickly cover all open spaces.

Work tools and kitchen appliances can quickly expand to needing additional space for storage.

Then, there is paperwork—I thought computers were supposed to reduce the consumption of paper. There is a constant need to separate, shred, and file various hard copies of bills and documents. These documents are prioritized before fun magazines, trade magazines and reports, pictures, and sentimental cards.

You also need to include maintaining a digital filing system for documents and email, pictures, and interests.

I’ve taken several organization classes, participated in various decluttering events, and can tell you that organizing must become and remain an ongoing living method. One must change one’s habits, adopt a new way of keeping the home clean, and organized. If not, one goes back to the same disorganized way of doing things.

Personally, I start with the kitchen when cleaning—after all, it is the heart of the home.

Next- the bathroom needs to be clean and usable—it is a necessary room (in more than one way.)

The living room is the first room company visits—you do not want to be perceived as a slob, so this room must be cleaned and maintained.

The bedroom—my oasis (and castle) is the place where I relax.

The computer area—where the paperwork gets done, and bills are paid. Not to mention the primary contact with others when we cannot leave our homes.

Timing is everything. You will not get anything done if you do not set aside a block of time and a date to organize things—and do not forget the maintenance aspect of keeping an area organized. Most projects will take longer than you think. You need to set small goals that lead to completing larger tasks. This will result in an ongoing series of daily things.

As for having help when organizing, many hands lighten the load—but only if they help positively. Seek help for what needs to be done—especially if it is not your area of expertise. 

How can you slow down your life?

To practice slow living, we have now arrived (in our household) by doing the following things.

  • Learn to say “no” to things that you don’t enjoy doing.
  • Never promise to do more than you can deliver.
  • Learn to delegate tasks.
  • Involve everyone in the household chores.
  • Learn to block out time to spend with your immediate family.
  • Schedule “me” time.
  • Have at least one day to “catch up” on the chores.
  • Designate one day a week as a play date day.
  • Simplify choices.
  • Learn to enjoy doing things at home.
  • Turn off the cell phone.
  • Only check the mail once a day.
  • Unsubscribe from nonessential sites and magazines.
  • Do all necessary tasks correctly the first time.
  • Do not procrastinate when something needs to be done.

Remember that doing necessary things now means you have free time later.

Moving tips

 I have a few tips for someone who is moving.

  • Get rid of things you do not want or need before you move.
  • The best practice when moving—use a date and time stamp on the pictures.
  • Please take pictures of the contents in the boxes before you close them.
  • Label the boxes as to the room destination.
  • Packing takes longer than you think it will.
  • Carry valuables with you, such as jewelry, bank books, meds.
  • Buy specialty packing for fragile items; you might want to carry these too.
  • Take pictures of the door jams and walls before the movers start moving your furniture.
  • Please take pictures of the furniture before you move—in case it gets damaged or disappears.
  • Please take some pictures of the movers with your items.
  • Open all damaged cartons before signing off on the delivery.
  • Have someone responsible at the end destination.
  • It would be best to take pictures of how you are leaving your old house or apartment or room.
  • Please take pictures of your new place before you start moving into it.

Get help; you are going to need it!

You might need to simplify if

 You might need to simplify if

  • you can not find your car or house keys
  • you can not find the bill to pay it
  • the checkbook or credit card has disappeared, again
  • you’ve missed the dentist/doctor/specialist/hair appointment, again
  • you forgot to pick up your child, your sibling, your significant other, or your parent
  • you are tripping over things in the house
  • boxes or things are attacking you in your home
  • the inside of your fridge has become a science experiment
  • the post office is giving you a key to another box so you can pick up all your mail
  • you had to borrow a stranger’s gas can because you forgot to fill up your car
  • you had to do the smell test because you have no clean work clothes
  • the dog ate your presentation
  • your cat deleted your report
  • you’ve misplaced your glasses, but they are on top of your head
  • you can not remember if you have taken your medicine
  • you can not remember if you have locked your house
  • you ask yourself if you have turned off the stove
  • you forget to turn off the lights after you get into bed

Finally, if you think it is okay to talk on the phone while driving and question the other drivers' driving skills after a near miss!

A Thoughtful Christmas Gift to Someone Close to You

 

The most thoughtful gift I can give on Christmas to someone close to me is myself and my talents. I’m hosting and cooking the Christmas dinner; all the invitees have to do is show up. 

My husband will help me by setting up extra tables and chairs, cleaning the floors, and paying for everything.

Our Christmas card will include suggesting getting together and splitting the bill for a meal. 

Some of my immediate family members have discussed getting together to declutter and clean, thus helping each other. It is easier and more energizing when one has some help to do a task.

I sew; therefore, I hem, sew on buttons, and repair seams and rips for those who cannot.

I craft, so I’ve plans to do a craft with some of them. I have the supplies.

At our ages (my family and friends) [and in this time of uncertainty], spending time with each other (yeah, yeah—safely) is more important than ever.

Give of yourself—your time and your talents as a Christmas present.

My Christmas card contains the following sayings.


Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!


I’ve missed being with you throughout this trying year.

So let’s get together when there is nothing to fear.

Whether we cook and clean or do something else around the house,

I won’t tell anyone. I’ll be quiet as a mouse.


So just let me know when you want to get together.

I’m always available through storms or fair weather.

It can be before Christmas or after the New Year too,

Always, please, remember that I love you!



Saturday, November 21, 2020

Relationships during Covid and stay at home orders

 

At another internet place that I hang out, I responded to this post, "I’ve been in a relationship w/ my GF for about 5 mos. We hung out yesterday & everything has been perfect, but this morning when I woke up, I didn’t feel in it anymore. I feel like I love her & don’t want to lose my feelings. Why do I feel this way?"



We celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary this past June, just my husband and me because of Covid19. My husband is my best friend, my lover, my pal, my motorcycle buddy; however, we don’t live in each other’s pockets, and we don’t take each other for granted. If you both are committed to making the relationship work and give it your all, it will.

Ask yourself how you would feel if your girlfriend were no longer in your life. Then think about all the joyful times you have had together.

Are you starting to take each other for granted? Are you going the extra mile to keep your relationship special? Are you still dating? I know, it is hard with the COVID19 limitations. Think outside the box.

A picnic and movie in the living room, soft music. A body massage. Playing cards. Use your imagination to keep the romance alive.

And don’t forget those all import words that need to be spoken often, “I love you.” “What can I do to help?”

Since we’ve been homebound, our relationship is even better now than it was this past December. We each take a random time to initiate a hug, or a hug and kisses moment. We get up and dance during the commercials or during the music at the end of a movie.

Our love has become deeper, richer, more fulfilling over the years. And yes, there have been trying times. I’ve heard it said that “marriage is not a bed of roses,” however, I disagree.

Marriage is a bed of roses, with thorns that can pierce, snag, or hurt you. Sometimes specific actions, words, or thoughtlessness must be pruned from your life so that you can move forward with stronger roots and branches. Thoughtlessness and hurtful habits are like branches rubbing against one another on the plant, damaging them. Prune one of the branches so the other can become stronger.

Pruning is where compromise can come into play in a relationship. Things like closing the kitchen cabinet doors and drawers, picking up clothes, using the hamper, flushing the toilet after every use, and that all-important cap on the toothpaste and do you squeeze the toothpaste in the middle or from the end.

The rain, sun, soil nutrients, and pruning of the roses are mirrored by thoughtfulness, praise, loving actions, and forgiveness when necessary.

Kiss your loved one when you part, give a hug. Life is fleeting; an accident or a health emergency can take the love of your life away in the blink of an eye. And if you are blessed to spend many years together, ah, the joy the good memories can bring.

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Question about minimalism and post COVID living asked on another forum & my answer

 Will minimalism be the new normal for post COVID?

Minimalism might not be the norm for post COVID; however, I think many will agree that we have learned to appreciate the importance of family and friends.

We have learned to do more with less. Hopefully, we have learned new uses for things that we already own.

We have learned that we have too many possessions taking ups space in our homes after we trip over it, have to move it to find something, or lose something in all our “stuff.”

We should be better at cooking in our own homes after not being able to go out as much as we used to go.

Hubby and I are closer than ever before; we’ve been married 50 years.

We are doing more things together. I even got him to help me go through his closet and get rid of things that he can no longer wear.

We are not minimalists yet. We were minimalists when we first married. We will be again, as we are now both retired.

We now purchase for needs not wants.

I will be getting a new washer and dryer, sometime in the future. But only because the one we own has died. The set is over 30 years old.

I will not replace the following things.

  • Portable dishwasher
  • Toaster
  • Microwave
  • Blender
  • Sets of glasses or cups

I’m letting my clothing go down to a double core of complementary sets. That will mean around 60 pieces of mixing and matching pieces including my undergarments and motorcycle specific pieces. I have more than that now. However, all my clothes are in good condition, fit my body, my current usage needs, and their allotted space. When clean, all items fit the closet and dresser in my bedroom. I do not have additional closets or outside storage for these items.

It is easier to let things go if you have had to be the person to handle getting rid of your parents or a loved one's things. The sheer amount of things one must deal with can be overwhelming.

Therefore, at least get your financial things in order, don’t be a hoarder, and for goodness sake, learn to let things be less important than people and memories.

Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Why aren't you organized?

 

I was asked, "What types of folks can't keep their houses, desks, and cars organized," on another forum.

Here's my reply.

Visual organizers appear not to have things organized, but they know where everything is on their desk, etc. By nature, I am a visual organizer. Twenty-three years of on the job organizing using filing systems have had its effect on my home life.

Essential documents and tax items should be filed correctly, in a way that makes sense for you and your tax preparation agent.

A horizontal mail type system works better for this type of person than filing drawers and cabinets. Keep filing simple, and don’t be too detailed.

For clothing or toys, shelves might work better than drawers and boxes.

It is a matter of finding a method that works well for you. It might even be a combination of methods.

Some folks don’t keep their houses, desks, and cars organized because they have not been shown how to do it.

Finally, some people are lazy. They cannot be bothered even to try to keep things organized and do nothing at all to make things better. They don’t pick up after themselves, don’t put clothing in hampers, trash in the garbage can, and won’t help clean around the house. This type of person wants someone else to do all the work and want someone else to pay for things.

My mom and dad had a solution for lazy children. It involved a trip outside to the woodshed. You didn’t remain a slob long in their house!


Are you failing to plan for unexpected circumstances?

 On another forum I was asked, "What do the poor do that make financially comfortable people scratch their heads? "

My answer is as follows.

They max out credit cards, buy cigarettes and alcohol, pay for nails and fancy hairdos, and buy name brand clothing.

I was working in a service station watching a mom deny her child a small container of milk. She told the toddler that she couldn’t afford it. Is the mom dressed to the nines for a night out? She had fancy nails and hairdo, makeup, driving a new car. Of course, she can not afford a small carton of milk; she has to get $20 of gas, two 18-packs of beer, and a carton of cigarettes.

  • The upcoming generations haven’t learned delayed gratification or fiscal responsibility.
  • They don’t have the skills to budget.
  • They don’t have a reserve in case of illness, loss of job/income, or death.
  • We, as a nation of consumers, need to learn how to live with less.

I lived with less, then married, had a child. Both adults worked jobs; we were comfortable, and both got older. He retired.

I lost my job after training my replacement, back at minimum wage after being out of work for eight months. Not making enough to cover the bills. Used savings. Cut wants and extras drastically, paid off home improvement loan. I was involved in a car wreck and am now paying for a car. Transportation costs will always exist.

So, we’re once again back at having less income, the less that we had when we first got married. The thing is this, we’ve been there. We know how to budget our efforts and monies. We won’t go into more debt after we pay off that car.

I am now retired. Health and age issues limit future employment. I won’t downsize our possessions; we don’t have replacement funds. As our “stuff” ages out of usefulness, our home will become more minimal. We can live with that, we have been there and done that!

My family continually gives the other family members items that they need. I have extra, you need this, here, you can have it. No monies exchanged, just the giving from the heart.

I remember dad’s Christmas presents being toilet paper and paper towels. The larger families received bigger packs. He said, “I just want to give you something that I know you need.” Mom and dad were on a fixed income, both disabled; they still gave to their children—from the heart.

So, look at that person with less. Someday, it might be you. Life and circumstances change—plan for it. A car wreck, a job loss, or a health emergency or injury can bring your comfortable life down. Start saving for it. Pay off debt. Sooner rather than later. Help those you can. Learn new skills. We don’t need all the stuff that we think that we do. Learn to appreciate what you have. Put people before things. Put your loved ones before anything or anyone else.

Thursday, August 27, 2020

Decluttering Clothes

 

How can you be ruthless when decluttering clothes?

If you are decluttering clothes, shoes, sporting items, or accessories, ask yourself the following questions.

  • Is the item in good condition?
  • Does the item need repair?
  • Is the item faded, stained, pilled, or ripped?
  • Does the item fit or is it too big or too little?
  • Does the item flatter you with its color and style?
  • Do you like the way the material feels on your body?
  • Do the shoes make your feet hurt?
  • Does the item have an unpleasant odor?
  • Do you still participate in the sport or exercise?
  • Would you buy the item again?

Getting rid of things

  • Get rid of faded, stained, pilled, ripped, or smelly articles or clothing.
  • Get rid of items that need repair.
  • Get rid of items that don’t fit.
  • Get rid of items that don’t flatter you.
  • Get rid of items you would never buy again.

Sorting

  • Sort the items in the keep pile.
  • Try articles on and have someone take pictures of you in the item.
  • Ask yourself if you really want to keep the item now?

Success

  • Set up a core wardrobe of clothing.
  • Supplement needed items with quality mix-and-match timeless pieces.

For the future

  • Keep a Goodbye Bag or Basket in your closet for ongoing purging
  • If you put the item on and realize it no longer works, put it in the Goodbye Bag or Basket.
  • Clean the item and put it in the bag immediately

Decorating study or work tables

 

How can I decorate my study table by DIY?

The easiest way to decorate a study table or side table or coffee table is to add a glass or plexiglass topper. 

Slip flat cards, pictures, mementos, underneath the glass on the tabletop.

If the desk is large enough, add a shelf at the back of the desk.

Hang a bulletin board with hooks and drawers above the desk.

Add an organizer or holder to the top of your desk for your pens and pencils.

Make certain lighting is adequate and that your seat is an adjustable one so that you can change your seating position often.


Have a shredder and trash can in easy reach.


Note: that plexiglass or glass top will help protect the top's surface from dirt, moisture, and grime.

Decluttering sentimental paper items

 

How do I declutter my house when I’m so sentimental over so many gifts, letters, cards?

Are you up to taking pictures or scanning items? Can you get someone who loves you help you have “memory snapshots” which you can then do slide shows on a picture screen or your computer?

My husband scanned all the pictures that his parents owned when we had to go through their things. He placed all the pictures on CDs or DVDs, and made a copy for each son, grandchild, greatgrandchild. We then had a picture party and passed out all the pictures, including any frames, to any we could get to take them. Of course, we sorted family photos and offered the sons the pictures first. We only kept 2 hardcopy pictures of his mother and father. The rest we let go. We have all the photos in a slide show. We have cd copies all over the US and could easily copy another copy if necessary.

Have you ever heard of Swedish Death Cleaning? Take pictures, gift the things away now and watch someone enjoy the items as much as you have done in the past.

Queen hide-a-bed sofa to a niece who needed a bed for children.

Reclining love seat to a nephew for his TV room.

Love seat to a sister who needed one in her family room.

Curio cabinet to my daughter who needed one and I couldn’t help buy one.

Baking pans to a niece.

Cooking utensils to church.

Large Dining room table to a large family.

Clothing too little or too big to a homeless shelter, nursing home, church storehouse.

I find getting rid of things is easier if you know you are helping someone with what you are giving away.

One Christmas, I gathered a lot of Christmas decorations (no ornaments) and placed them on a table. I asked all of my family to go through them and take any and all that they wanted. [We have our party on the first Sunday of December.]

Another Christmas, I gathered Cookbooks and did the same thing.

We had numbers for each person, drew them, made a selection, rinse, and repeat. Swaps were encouraged.

We no longer do name drawing or dirty Santa presents. We do the Wright family game with a one-dollar item each—preferably non-breakable.

How do you effectively declutter unnecessary items?

 

Can you become a minimalist?


I’ve been getting rid of things for years. I want more open areas in the home and fewer things to dust.


Last week I took two chairs to see about getting them recovered. They were great to sit on; however, they seemed to have developed a skin condition and black material was flaking off constantly. The starting price to recover was $250 each. I paid $99 for them. I asked the upholster owner if he would like them for free. He took them. They will not be replaced.


My newly married granddaughter needed a computer desk for her new home. Her mom and I took her to look at desks. The one she liked was over $200 dollars; that just wasn’t going to happen right now. 

I offered her a 4-foot wide by 2.5-foot deep glass-top metal computer desk that was in my craft room. She can add a wood top if she wants to since her new father-in-law builds cabinets. Or wait, save the money, and buy the one that she wants. (I used the glass top table for around 3 years.)


I purchased a folding 4-feet by 2-feet height-adjustable table for the craft room (can double for tailgating) before I was gifted the computer table by my brother-in-law. 


All of the above to say, if you find something that no longer works for your in your home, or it no longer fits your lifestyle, or someone you know can use it, then, it is time to let the item go. 

You are not losing something, you are gaining space and more free time to play since you will have fewer things to clean.

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

How do you make a bookshelf look less cluttered?

 My bookshelves will always need a dedicated effort to keep them looking less cluttered.

I have bookcases, six of them.

  • My kitchen ones look the best since they are shallow (on purpose.)
  • There is only one layer of books grouped by the publisher, cooking method, or size.
  • I have gifted thousand of books to others over the years, and I am not kidding.
  • Remember, I have four additional bookcases. I love books. Letting some of the older books go has become more comfortable since I now have a Kindle Fire.

Now, for the hard part.

  • Get a few boxes that will be leaving your house, no you are not putting the books into storage, the boxes will not just sit around in your home.
  • Set up a table for sorting.
  • Go through the books.
  • Remove the ones no longer relevant to your current lifestyle.
  • Remove the books that you read and didn’t like.
  • Remove the ones for which you have newer, more relevant, current information concerning the subject.
  • Remove duplicates.

You have completed your sorting process.

  • Arrange the books by subject matter.
  • You can add matching labeled covers.
  • Place the books on the shelves.
  • Pull them all a certain distance from the front edge of the shelf.
  • Use bookends to keep the books neat.
  • Add a few decorative items to the shelves if you have made room for them.

Or if all your books fit on the bookshelves and you don’t want to do additional purging or organizing, hide the books behind fitted shelf inserts, shades, blinds, or opaque doors.

Monday, August 3, 2020

Don't Retire My Master Bedroom!

Should the term “master bedroom” be retired?

The term “master bedroom” should not be retired. A prospective homeowner knows it will be the largest room in the home, probably have a large en-suite bathroom and a large closet. It might have a sitting area. It generally is used by the owner of the home. Some of the newer homes have a “mother-in-law suite,” which is a duplicate of the “master bedroom.” Multi-generational houses often have this feature.

Of course, I grew up in a time where there was only one bathroom with running water—if you were lucky. Mom and dad should have had the biggest bedroom; however, their three daughters and a grandmother occupied it.

The bathroom was added years after acquiring the house. Yes, we had an outhouse and took baths in the kitchen in a tin tub next to the wood cookstove which heated the kitchen.

My current 1925 mill home doesn’t have a master bedroom in a sense the term brings to mind. I do not find the term offensive in any way. We have one bathroom located off the hallway that used to be part of the back porch.

It is time to get over this, “I find whatever offensive mindset.” Terms, names, buildings, streets, are not offensive unless the so-called offended are small-minded. Life is too short to hunt terms and things to declare offensive.

Find something real with which to be offended. Come up with solutions, make them happen, write letters to the politicians. Run for office. Make the corner of the world that you live in better, look for the good in others, pay your blessings forward, and live!