Wednesday, June 17, 2020

Why we hold onto things--see if you figured it out


Jenna's Quilt,  by Carolyn Overcash for a writing class

Jenna folded the quilt and placed it carefully into her grandmother's trunk, wiping away a tear as she thought about what she would say to Milton in the morning. Milton hadn't wanted Jenna to come to her grandmother's funeral, much less clear out the home to rent or sell.

The quilt is the last item to be packed away; it is tangible proof of her grandmother's love. Jenna was seven-years-old when she and grandmother started making the crazy quilt. It took them three years to finish it. They used clothing from when she was a baby and toddler, some of her mom and dad's, and some of grandma and grandpa's clothes. As they sewed, grandmother talked to her about her mom and dad growing up as next-door neighbors. She learned how they grew close while doing church activities; how they fell in love and married. Grandmother helped her connect with her parents as they sewed the quilt. The chest was the hope chest grandmother had as a child; it had been her mother's, too; now, it is hers.

As she stroked the stitches on the quilt, Jenna thought about her relationship with Milton. Milton's demands have been increasing in the past few months. He is pressing her to let him move in with her.

This past month, away from him, has solidified her resistance to cohabitating with Milton. He's calling her two or three times a day, wanting to know when she'll be back. He's angry that she is not there to play hostess to dinner meetings for his employer’s partners in her townhouse. He has told her that her home is perfect for entertaining the partners. Milton berates her telling her that she is selfish by staying away.

Staying in her last childhood home has Jenna reevaluating what she wants in her life. She is meeting old friends, enjoying working with her Christian friends on various community projects, and finding joy in singing once again.

Jenna is thankful that her grandmother kept her and raised her when her grandfather and parents died in a head-on collision. They never had a chance when that drunk driver crossed the road and met their car as they were coming home from the airport. Grandmother and Jenna were alive because Jenna stayed home to get ready for the church cantata in which she and grandmother were both singing.
Jenna was upset and angry when her parents and grandpa were not in the church sanctuary, where they usually sat before the cantata. Grandmother helped her deal with her regret and survivor's guilt after the sheriff came to the church to let her and grandma know what happened. Jenna found peace and acceptance with God's plan as they sewed the quilt.

Jenna sobs as she strokes various pieces of clothing, her mom's wedding dress, dad's wedding tux, part of the christening gown her little brother would have worn if he hadn't died in the crash too, never having a chance to be born. She pulls the quilt back out of the trunk and wraps it around her, wraps the memories and love that it represents around her. Her fingers touch the fancy embroidery that outlines the pieces. Here is the first piece Jenna added to the quilt. The stitches are uneven with her childish first attempts. The elegant piece of material next to it is her grandmother's work, where she encompassed Jenna's piecing and made Jenn's first attempts at sewing appear part of the quilt's design.

Jenna remembers what her grandmother said that day, as she combined the two pieces, "Baby, we must always do our best. Others will add to our efforts. The ending result will glorify God. All of us have a purpose in this old world. We'll never know when something small we do touches someones' life for His glory. This piece is lovely, child, sewn with love, the very best sewing you could do. As you learn more and add more scraps, your stitching will get better, but even then, it will still be, just the best that you can do. And God will still use all of it for His Glory!"

Jenna gulps, sighs, wipes her eyes, blows her nose, and places the quilt to the side. She gets up and goes into the bathroom. After washing her hands and splashing her face, Jenna goes back to the trunk. She retrieves a scrap of cloth and adds it to the quilt, finishing the stitching around it with a lovely design in gold thread. Finally done, she pats the final piece, folds the quilt, and puts in back in the trunk.

Right before Jenna closes the lid, she once again touches the final piece, an angel made from a section of the hem of the dress grandma was going to wear to Jenna's wedding. Jenna wants to think of her grandma wearing that dress throughout eternity. Jenna sighs as she pinches her nose between her eyes then rubs the back of her neck at the base of her skull.

Jenna recalls Milton's objections to her coming back home. As her grandmother's only living relative, Jenna had to go home to clean and pack things up. Milton wanted her to skip the funeral and pay someone to pack up the house. That just wasn't right. Tomorrow Jenna meets with Lawyer Davis for the reading of the will. She has been using the upcoming meeting as an excuse to hold off on going back to the city immediately.

Her lips press together in a firm line as she walks determinedly out of the room. She'll talk to Milton in the morning. He won't like what she has to say. She cannot deal with him right now. He and she are through; he just doesn't know it yet!

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